Thursday, March 29, 2012

An 8 step program to rid your life of Facebook.

Good morning.  You have taken the first step of deactivating your Facebook.  Perhaps it was tough to get yourself to do it -- to get past that last screen where Facebook tries to tell you who will miss you.  They post pictures of loved ones, acting like once you leave their precious site that those loved ones will somehow leave your life.  Again, that is what they want you to think.  They want you to think that in order to be social you need Facebook.  They want you to think that once you deactivate that you can not contact those people, hence they will miss you.  Chances are, you are moved by that, as there are probably some people on there who you have developed strong relationships with.  However, if the relationships are really that strong, you will not be leaving them, and hence, they will not have reason to miss you.

So, now that you have deactivated, you are ready to face the real challenge.  Not going back.  For this reason, I have created an eight step program. 

1.  First, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself.  It was not easy to leave a site that you have probably logged countless hours on.  Facebook should have came with a clock to count the time you were on there.  I would not be surprised if some people have spent in excess of 100 days total on that site.  And, totaled throughout life, one could easily spend a year of their life on Facebook.  Scary huh?  Some people have multiple profiles, but that is not you, so now you can congratulate yourself.
2.  Treat yourself to something nice.  Make yourself a good breakfast, buy yourself a nice new book, go to the park and take some pictures (remember: you don't have to post them to Facebook!  They are yours to cherish). 

3.  Do something productive.  Chances are if you have just got rid of Facebook you have a lot you want to do.  Maybe start writing a book.  Make up the house, light some candles, put on some relaxing music.  Sit down and create some goals.  Do a couple of homework assignments.  See how productive you can be when you are not being nagged by that mental voice that keeps telling you to take a break and check your Facebook.

4.  Get away from the computer.  For many people a $1200 computer is really a Facebook machine.  Chances are you see it all the time at school or at the coffee shop.  People using a Macbook Air or similar expensive device almost exclusively to check their Facebook.  Perhaps most of your computer time was spent checking Facebook.  So, try to get away from the computer for a while.  Go for a walk, and maybe leave that cell phone home as well.  This is your time.

5.  Celebrate each day away from the ball & chain.  Keep note of every day you are not on Facebook.  When people ask you if you have Facebook, tell them that you have not been on it for (insert amount of days here).  Be proud when you say it.  If they ask why, tell them your views on it.  Tell them what you have accomplished with out it.  Keep track of what you have done since getting rid of it.  I promise you that your life will in many ways improve.

6.  Find a non-Facebook hobby.  Sometimes you may find yourself bored and drawn to the computer.  Perhaps you will think "there is no where else to go other than Facebook."  That is very wrong, however.  The internet is full of interesting blogs, webpages, and learning tools.  Facebook is in no way, shape, or form a learning tool.  In fact, one could say that with all the political propaganda and skewed statistics, Facebook actually DESTROYS THE MIND. 

7.  Clear your computers Cashe, History, and Cookies.  You do not want Facebook appearing ANYWHERE on your computer as you type a website.  It is all too easy to hit enter and find yourself reactivating it.  You must get rid of the temptation, especially at the beginning.  Remember, in many ways Facebook is a SERIOUS obsession, like alcohol or drugs.  You may not want to admit it, but if you feel drawn to it in such a manner there is no doubt that Facebook is indeed an awful obsession.  Restrain yourself!

8.  If you long to be social, be social.  Facebook is not social.  In fact, Facebook calls itself a social networking site, but is, in reality, an asocial networking site.  In reality you are networking with other asocial people who are hellbent on getting the most friends possible.  Sorry to sound like Yoda, but by Creating an army of friends social does not make you.  Facebook does not allow one to express their deeper self.  While you can share photos and short statuses, Facebook runs afoul of giving a person a way to truly express themselves.  There are far better ways to express your creativity to the world than through Facebook.  You don't need it to be social, and the reality is, by being on Facebook you may actually have been less social than you would have been without it.

It's shaping up to be a beautiful new life.  A life without Facebook. 


  1. It's hard for a young person to get rid of Facebook. Do you have any advice for people in their early 20's that want to get rid of Facebook but just can't bring themselves to delete it? Help me please I feel trapped! I'm being serious here.

    1. I will post a blog entry on this very subject. And yes, I agree, it's very hard for young person to give up something when it seems everyone else is doing it. Especially when that young person feels like they are leaving something popular that connects them to the rest of the world.

      Thank you for your thoughts, and I hope I can help you.

  2. If you are clean from using Facebook then you ought to start making updates of all the positive changes you have noticed since quitting Facebook use. For instance a timeline of positive events or changes that other addicts can look forward to experiencing once they quit Facebook use also.

    1. This is a great idea, and one I will consider adding to this site.

  3. Hi, I find your blog interesting. You are right in saying that Facebook and Twitter have become a way to share the most mundane details of our lives. Also just about all my pics go to my facebook album! Also I've noticed that I've become a compulsive facebook/twitter checker, which is bad. I work online as a freelance writer, and I noticed that every time I get bored/frustrated I click over to facebook or twitter. Like twelve times a day. So I end up spending a lot unproductive time online. I don't want to get rid of my social networks completely since i have a lot of friends and family overseas who use them. but I do want to get rid of this compulsive habit and just check them maybe a couple times a week for about a half hour. Thanks for the suggestion to get non-fb hobbies. I will join a zumba class and spend more time in the gym and in meditation. Also I can use the time to read all of the great blogs I have in my google reader. Thanks a lot for the wake up call..we really need it!

    1. I really find it interesting that all the losers who use facebook always try to use that excuse that it helps them keep up with other ppl who they don't really need in their lives anyhow. Let's get real. if you don't call these ppl for their input into your lives, "these ppl" are obviously voices in your life who's input does not matter! -Me.

  4. what is your suggestion for people like me who need to promote whatever they're doing? And what is your suggestion for people to get to the news if they don't want to use "Mainstream media"?
    I have:

    1) Facebook
    2) Twitter
    3) YouTube
    4) Vimeo
    5) LinkedIn
    6) Xing
    7) Meetup
    8) Sound Cloud
    9) Ubeetoo
    10) Reverb Nation
    11) Draugiem
    12) Google+

    And I should be having 3-5 more accounts according to my industry's standards...

    I go on them on purpose, but my problem is with the FB private account where I have 'friends'. I constantly need to get my message out, but since everybody has FB, people seem not to give their e-mail addresses (e-mails for my mailing list is my priority). I've had it when people write their FB url for e-mail after a gig at a venue. Well, then, if these people who do so are organizers of events, you have no choice. They are not responding to "normal e-mails", but they do respond to your FB e-mails.

    1. For business purposes, I can not deny that using Facebook makes sense. However, I would caution the business person on Facebook to limit their use of Facebook for business purposes. For example, one can have a business account on Facebook without having or babysitting a personal account.

  5. yeah, that's true. I think it would make sense for me to have it deactivated for a week, get another perspective and switch it to "business mode" in head; then get back and post only business stuff. But then again - me, as a musician, who's gone professional lately - it's super crazy. Industry specialists suggest you post on your fan page three times a day to have a decent Facebook algorithm - how many people of your likes see your postings. Facebook, besides being addictive, has very unethical business practices. For example, the standard algorithm only reaches 16% of your likes. Wanna have more people see the post - now you can pay in whatever bracket is good for you. One day Zuckenberg will come up with a script that offers you 0% reach. So therefore you can pay to have them show your posts (pay per post, btw) or do different tricks, such as post silly pictures that still have somewhat meaning and tag people. However, you can tag only if you are having a private account. In such a way you can reach more people and get them to see that you have a page, see your post and maybe listen to your music or go to your website. So basically, 1st you pay to get the word out - for ads; then you pay for showing them. What a load of crap.
    It gets even better - the key thing about the (a)social media for business is not so business - that thing gets really personal. The point is - the whole idea is constructed around interaction - meaning, you MUST engage in conversations on your page, especially if you are an artist, and you must post silly stuff because nobody releases anything every day and to build this personal touch you post your private stuff, or at least what you want to know, build the public persona. Also, if you only post "hey, I have a gig" or "the song is finally out" etc. people will think you see them as income source only and people don't want to be sold to. Since a page intervenes with "private" profile postings, you gotta sound "private". I think you're getting what I'm trying to say...
    People are being paid big bucks to do this thing daily and as a job. Most artists can't afford big bucks for social media, so they do it themselves. I swear that first thing I will delegate is social media, except Twitter. Twitter is super cool for a celebrity or politician and easy to maintain, but Facebook - hell no.
    What is the result of it? I have a private account, must keep the awareness of my existence on all accounts and thus I'm on Facebook all day. The standard suggestion is - wake up, check your FB etc, tweet, post, retweet, comment etc. and then keep on doing as the day goes by. And it's mind numbing, as addiction, even if you do it for your business. We are human and so am I. So I wind up spying on Crush #1 and Crush #2 and like pictures and stuff. However, I tell ya, when the rare day comes and I can go to Long Beach or Coney Island, or at least Central Park, I will and I won't post it and I won't post pictures either. I have face time with ALL people I consider close to me, be it over the phone or in person. Next thing that drives me nuts is that while I maintain my profile and awareness, I am fed with this non-sense. Politics. Gay rights. Issues. OWS. A lot of cursing and hating along these lines. Endless "fun pictures". Yuck.
    I have a comedian friend who has over 5000 friends on one account, 2000 on the other and also a page with a few thousand fans. So he's on TV and headlines clubs here and on West Coast and we often talk about it. We hate it. We have to do it. We can't deactivate. I think this is how hell will feel...
    Amazing blog! You nailed it and you respond to comments, as well (the anonymous posting above is mine).

    1. It sounds like you are in Facebook hell. With Facebook seen as a necessity for the business world, it puts you between a rock and a hard place. Sadly, as long as society is addicted to Facebook, the business person will have to continue to play the game in order to maximize their income.

  6. Good Afternoon there!

    Recently, I have had many thoughts on why people love Facebook quite as much as they do. Now, I was one of the late starters. When everyone had Facebook at school, I was the one girl who didn't. I personally didn't see the point in posting about pointless things! (and I was somewhat afraid of the internet) Yet...I am sorry to say, I eventually gave in when they made a group to get supporters in order to get me to log onto Facebook.
    However, now...I have deleted it. I was having a conversation with my Partner and he and I both agreed that in a very dramatic, yet realistic sense, Facebook has removed the sanctity of friendship and of relationships. You aren't really 'in love' if you haven't a million posts from your Partner saying 'I love you babes!' or something to that same effect. It has taking the thrill out of dating. Now, when you meet someone, you add each other on Facebook rather than taking a phone number. This of course means that the one hot guy you met at the pub once you accept his 'Friend Request' can access TOO much information about you. (For example, your friends, his competition, your ex's, what you like and what you do) Now, all these things would originally be discussed and explored on second, third and forth dates. Now people jump right into the fifth date on the second time of seeing someone...which I find to be very disheartening.
    Furthermore, Facebook has not only made the World obsessed with what other people are doing in comparison to yourself but also turned you into a ridiculously vain human being, posting photo after photo in an album entitled 'Me' It's just stupid!
    I shall admit that I did enjoy aspects of Facebook, but I was never a serial Facebooker at all. I would never post anything personal to me or anyone else, nor would I post anything pointless and stupid! So, I didn't really post much! xD I enjoyed the 'idea' of a complex and friendlier emailing system for people whom you love but do not live that close to. Yet, it seems now people would rather 'Facebook Chat' than actually chat! I personally feel as though people are losing the art of physical conversation and connection because they spend so much of their time in utter silence typing into a small box to one of their 300 or so friends. Let's face many of those people would you actually go out of your way to see a movie with or go to dinner...because, they aren't really friends are they? They are numbers. Maybe some of them you have actually met once or twice, or seen from a far...but at the end of the day if you have 300 plus friends, you are clearly a super awesome hero of an individual!
    I think the likes of Plato and other great minds whom possessed faith in the Human Race's intelligence and compassion, would be rather saddened by the turn of events caused by Facebook. They would certainly not 'like' it!

    (I love your blog by the way! It's perfect!)

    1. Thank you, your comment was insightful and gives me some ideas for future posts!