Saturday, April 21, 2012

Denial = Addiction


My wife recently left Facebook.  I never really told her she should, as she only logged in a few times a year.  However, she realized that when she did log in she found little use for the site.  Having given it up was something I was proud of her for doing.  Now I can say my home is truly "Facebook Free™".  However, she recently called her family and asked if they had seen my site, they said, "I don't need to, I am not addicted.  I only log in once a day."  However, I think denial is part of addiction, and I think that logging in even once a day is excessive.

This particular family member sees Facebook as many do.  As a way to keep in touch and see what is going on in the lives of family.  However, this alone creates an addiction.  It's a vacuum that sucks you in.  You can not leave, because, in your mind, if you leave, you are saying, "I am leaving my family.  I don't care what they are doing."  Further, Facebook tells you when you leave that those people will "miss you", as if they actually will go through the longing and sadness that people go through when they leave home to go to college, or head back home from a vacation.  Facebook seems to forget that the internet allows people to keep in touch with each other in many different ways.  In fact, most people have a cell phone and home phone which allows people to call almost anyone at any time.  For some reason, a person feels like they are a part of another's life if they see every miniscule thing they post, even if it is political nonsense or information on who has diarrhea.



I don't think this is healthy.  I don't think logging into Facebook even once a day is beneficial for a person.  I don't think that having to be connected to other people all the time and share aspects of your life in order to validate yourself as a person is healthy.  You should not have to validate yourself to others.  You are who you are, and you should be happy for that.  People seem to enjoy Facebook to "keep tabs" on other people.  However, it is not healthy to obsess over the lives of others while your life stagnates.  Many people on Facebook will brag about their lives and their accomplishments, but in reality, they are accomplishing little by being on Facebook. 

I propose that if you are logging into Facebook regularly, on a schedule, such as once a day, 3 times a week, once a week, etc., then you are addicted.  If you feel the need to validate why you are on Facebook, then you are addicted.  In fact, when asked if he/she had even looked at the site, they said "no, I don't need to detox.  I am not addicted."  They were not asked if they were addicted.  Nobody brought up addiction.  One can not hope to grow if they don't look at contrary information from time to time.  Ignoring the fact that Facebook has negative connotations shows signs of addiction.  It is like the ostrich, hiding its head in the sand, refusing to look at the world.  When your world is Facebook, there is a problem.

I recently posted how I believed that Facebook showed the classic signs of being an addiction.   The more I see people obsess over the site and refuse to look away, the more I feel that this site is not only an addiction, but an epidemic.  I believe that anyone who has to view Facebook even just once a day and refuses to look at information contrary to Facebook as beneficial has an addiction

12 comments:

  1. Question. Do not get me wrong or anything but do you have a problem with just facebook or every social media outlet in general?

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  2. There are few social media outlets I don't have a problem with. I strongly believe that they pacify people and become addicting. I, too, at once was addicted to it, and have seen change, not only with myself, but with others who have given it up. I grew up in a world without cell phones and social networking, even though I am not that old. I miss the days of community between people that did not involve texting. The real relationships of the past are being lost, and I feel that social media is partly to blame.

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    1. Only "partly" to blame? I think it can destroys a marriage and family due to lack of communication. Or more so degrades spouses who are neglected due to the other spouse being more interested in other people's lives instead of the person they married. It shows who they really do or do not care about when a person checks their Facebook 3+ times a day as opposed to spending a whole 10 minutes a day talking to their spouse about life, raising their children, finances, health, etc. Some can not even plan a family vacation because it interfere with their Facebook time. How about the family members who choose to unfriend you, demonstrating a child like behavior. Or family members who will hit like on 50 other posts in a day but yet can not even hit like or comment on your status and pictures (even those with their Grandkids, nephews, siblings or in laws. Facebook is destroying the real morales and values of our families. It is so sad what the world has evolved into.

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  3. sir, what kind of hypocrisy is this.....you say you have a public grudge against facebook...yet promote your own site via facebook share....Are you helping in brining this addiction down, or trying to bloat it further...?

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  4. As far as I know, there is no way to remove that little button at the bottom. That being said, I do not mind if people pass this blog along on Facebook and let those who use the site know of me. In fact, that would be great, as those are the people who I am trying to reach the most.

    I don't go on Facebook myself, and most of my 'friends' that once were on that site have no idea that this blog exists.

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  5. Try a more soothing and peaceful color like green in this website. too much! Great blog though.

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  6. I have just deactivated my Facebook. I wasn't spending a lot of time on there but more than I should. I would find myself drifting around the net and suddenly end up there not even realizing I typed the address in the bar. The only reason I even gave up my facebook is because of abuse launched towards me and other family members. This is now day 2 and I, every so often, find myself typing it in the bar and hitting the main page asking for a login. I have not reactivated my account and I am currently trying to get my girlfriend to leave it too with no success.

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    1. I too am in a similar situation, this is day two with no Facebook for me, now I'm working on getting my girlfriend to delete her acct also but I can tell its not going to be easy! Stay strong! One day at a time!

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  7. For goodness sake, what exactly is all the fuss about? Addiction? Just don't sign up. Simple.
    Leaving your friends and family? There's something called a phone, a letterbox, skype etc. I could go on!

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  8. It can be hard for some people to give up FB...I went cold turkey on it about 6-7 months ago and never looked back.
    I don't miss the site nor the pointless information my 'friends' post on their walls. I used to log in at least 3-4 times a day (especially since I'd installed the app on my phone).
    But now I use that time to interact with the people I care about face to face / on the phone if I want to know what's going on in their lives.

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    1. Good for you. That's awesome news, especially to be free for 7 months.

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  9. I agree. I was experiencing everything you were and I was obsessing over the lives of others as my life deteriorates into the ground. I became depressed, angry, and jealous. All of this manifested into other things such as eBay. I was bidding, buying, and being on FB constantly to fill the void I felt inside. I use to work at a highly crappy job and looking at my friends travel, have the best boss and jobs in the world while getting married and having kids drove me crazy. I felt guilty for leaving because a lot of people loved my post and were on it solely for me. It was a huge burden I could not take anymore! I need to worry about my wellbeing. I had befriended and defriended people I did not know, just to find out they were using me and sapping all the energy out of me. They were not friends, but leeches. The last nail in the coffin was when my cousin started drama with me. I could name of more stories of negativity. I hate Facebook and I glad I'm done. I accomplished more when I logged off. I wasted so much of my time and life. I forgot how to write and mail a letter! I want to get back to way things use to be in my life. I am living real life more and not through a virtual fantasy. I was addicted and I thank l you for this site!

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