Monday, October 14, 2013

Communication Only Through Facebook


"I only communicate online via Facebook."  While this was not said in words, this is often said in the actions of certain people I have met and others who I know.  There are a class of individuals who do not like to converse unless the whole world can see it.  Well, the whole "Facebook world" that is.

It is hard to reach these type of people.  They are aloof when the phone rings.  They are barely there when you are communicating with them in person.  Their thumbs rap at their cellular phone as you try to talk to them.  Their eyes bat back and forth from you to the screen as you try to keep their attention.  You want to say something, but you don't know how to phrase it.  It would probably cause a fight, so you are quiet. Their eyes are glazed, and you wonder if they are drugged.

And they tap, tap, tap, as you struggle to speak with them.

If you are not on Facebook, you probably don't know much about their life.  It does not matter if you are their parent, their sibling, or their once best friend.  If you want in that individual's life, you must be on Facebook.

"I don't like to do private messages, I want to be transparent!"  They say.  They share everything with everyone through Facebook.  Little Timmy's dentist appointment, pictures from Uncle Harry's BBQ, the relationship drama that is unfolding at home.  It's like that television show "Big Brother."  Yet, you know little of it.

When you show concern, they wonder why you are not their Facebook friend.  "If you cared, you would follow my life on Facebook."  Yet, you want a real relationship with the person, a personal and private relationship.  That's a no go though.  If they are going to say it to you, there are going to say it to everyone.

You are left out of the loop when it comes to gatherings.  "I invited everyone on Facebook."  Yet, you told them you are not on Facebook.  You told them more than once.  It doesn't matter though.  Facebook is their world.  "I told you why I am not on Facebook," you tell the individual.  They don't buy it.  They just look at you with those glazed eyes and, as you speak, they grab for the phone and begin to enter text.

"Am I interrupting?" you ask.
"No, I am multi-tasking," they say.
"I miss how things were before."
"It's the Facebook age, you are a dinosaur."
"Not everyone is on Facebook."
"It's a necessity.  Get with the program."

You are on the verge of losing this person, yet you do not want to.  You want to be in the individual's life, but you sure as heck do not want to sign up for a Facebook account.  You have already deactivated your account more than you can count on both hands and at least one foot.  You kept going back, seeing your old high school friend's drunk selfies and manufactured lives.  You woke up each morning, locked and loaded to Facebook and you went to bed feeling like a two ton pickup truck ran you over.  You swore you'd never go back each time and you finally mustered up the courage to deactivate the site for good.  You know that there is no way you are going to blow through three hours to build a new profile and send invitations to all your old friends.

"I tried it, and I was miserable," you try to say, but you have said it before.  Many times.  They just don't understand.  They are used to the life on Facebook.  The ups and downs are normal to them now.  They have no idea what you are talking about.  They don't understand that life without Facebook is better because they are desensitized to the drama, to the need to live up to the expectations of others, to the need to be someone who they are not.  Sure, they are depressed when they see the vacation photos of their friends or the new house that a classmate bought.  Yet, they know no different now.  They can impress others with a click of a button or garnish sympathy from a host of individuals with a few words.  They are neck deep in the toxic relationship with Facebook and they are gladly sinking deeper.

"Have you ever tried going a week without Facebook?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
"You should try it, see if you feel different."
"There's no reason to leave Facebook."

Minutes turn into hours, hours into days, and the time continues to move on.  So much time spent updating profiles as Facebook keeps peeling the onion of privacy further back.  They don't care.  They have been members since when Facebook was for college students only and few could see.  "Don't you value your privacy?" you ask.
"I don't tell people everything about my life."
Yet they sure seem to tell everyone on Facebook about their life.

"Can I e-mail you sometime?"
"Sure, but I don't know if I will have time to answer it, I am very busy."

Busy with what?  Six hours a day on Facebook?  Of course you have enough tact to not say it.  Oh, but you know that you want to.
"I miss our relationship."
"Things change.  You really should get on Facebook."

They just don't understand.  Perhaps they never will.  Facebook loves it though.  They are reeling in the money as people are spending their lives hooked up to their beloved screen.

"Thank you," they say.
"For what?" you ask.
"Oh, sorry, I was talking out loud.  I meant to say that on Facebook." 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

It has been a while...

It has been a while since I posted here.  Too long, perhaps.  I have not forgot about this blog, instead, I have been busy moving across the United States, from the east coast to the west coast.  I have also been preparing for my wife to give birth to our first (and only) child.  On top of all that, I am looking for employment, which has been slow.  I must say that it was satisfying to not tell the world about having a child over Facebook, even though others thought it should be shared on the site.  I did not want this child to be another "Facebook baby," however.

Many of my more recent comments mention that it is hard to stay away from Facebook.  At one time it was hard to stay away from Facebook, however, as days pass, I find it easier to not want to be on the site at all. It does get easier.  At first you will feel that you are missing out by not being on Facebook, but once you are away long enough, you'll feel great for not wanting to be involved with the (a)social media world any longer.

I had a chance to take a look back at the world of Facebook recently, in fact.  My wife took the jump and permanently deactivated her account.  She actually had me do it for her.  I am very proud of her move.  She decided that with a baby coming that she has no need to ever get back on the site.  I must say that two years ago, my decision to leave Facebook was one of the best choices I have ever made.  In fact, when I look at how obsessed I was with the website and how little I accomplished while being on Facebook, I can not say that it was no small accomplishment.

For those who think that Facebook is an essential tool for a happy healthy life, you might want to look at what you are missing out by not being on Facebook before you draw a conclusion.  Many individuals that are users of Facebook are 'power users'.  That means that you are drawn to log onto Facebook whenever you are conscious.

Should You Use Facebook For Your Etsy Store or Online Advertising?

Many Etsy users are saying Facebook is not worth it on Etsy and for selling items.
"As a middle school teacher, Facebook was my sworn enemy. Nothing has ever created such drama or promoted such blatant cruelty as Facebook in the hands of unsupervised tween girls. I have a hard time even considering using it, despite reading how crucial it is to success on Etsy. I've also heard complaints from friends who say people are now more frequently using it solely for self-promotion, which they dislike. So for the time being, I'll pass. Better for me to spend my time knitting."
Don't be fooled by the articles that state that Facebook is essential to do well online.  The truth is Facebook is about as needed as a dirty dishtowel in a diamond store.  Many of these articles are written by those who have a financial stake in Facebook.  Furthermore, many of these articles throw in Facebook because it's something easy to add to an article.

Facebook is a nasty little site that seems to want its users to be locked online 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Purge that urge to log on.  Purge that urge to spend your life behind a glowing screen.  There is a real world outside that is just wanting to be enjoyed.  Are you going to waste another minute on Facebook?  I hope not.  I hope that you decide to log off for good.