Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Power of Choices

Some of us are not aware of the impact of our choices.
Our lives are made up largely of the results that come about due to the choices that we make.  Every day we make choices of how to spend our time.  We decide what to do, what to put in our bodies, what to feed our minds, where to go, and how we will progress as individuals.  Some of the choices we make better our lives greatly while other decisions seem to have little impact.  Yet, some of the choices we make set us back in life.  Some are catastrophic.  While an individual choice may seem to play a very minor part in life, the reality is that even a small choice can cascade into something great or terrible over time.

You have a choice whether or not to be on Facebook

You may have come to the conclusion that you need Facebook.  Perhaps you signed up without thinking just because you saw everyone else was doing it.  Maybe the Facebook App came installed on your phone and you figured "why not?"  Perhaps you were told by friends and family that you needed to join.  Maybe you saw that most businesses seem to want you to be on Facebook.  Maybe you feel it is the only way that you can advertise your own business or enter into various contests and giveaways.  The truth is, however, that you do not need to be on Facebook.  While it may seem absurd at first, the reality is that Facebook is an option, and one that you should not feel compelled to accept.  There are a host of reasons why you should consider not being on Facebook.  These include:
Sadly, many people live their life as if they do not have choices.  I have known people who go through life in this manner and they are often quite miserable.  Living life with the idea that you do not have a choice in anything results in depression.  However, many people who live this type of life seem unaware that they have a choice in what they do and how they spend their time.  It baffles many to find out that they have are free to choose how they live their life and that their life is the result of the choices that they make.  In fact, many would rather blame 'the system' or outside sources for the life that they have. I have found that many of these people are the type that are quick to be on Facebook and thrive on the site.

Where have your choices led you?
Facebook seems to hold a power over the people who believe that they are powerless in the world.  It is their sounding board; a way for them to lament their lives to the world and, when things are going good, brag like a banshee.  If you are still on Facebook you are probably well aware of their type.  They are the ones who often are updating their Facebook profile by the hour.  In fact, these people oftentimes seem to be living their lives through Facebook, because they believe that they have no choice in how to live and where to spend their time.

You have to realize that you do have a choice whether or not you are on Facebook.  It is important to accept that fact and stand firm, realizing that you will not be bullied in making a decision.  Sadly, the reality is that the media, family, friends, and corporations are vested with an interest in getting you to sign up to Facebook.  If you are not on Facebook you might fear that you will be considered devious or a sociopath.  Don't give into that fear!  It is your life and nobody else's.  You have a choice.

I realized, long ago, that my life always turned out for the better when I thought about the choices I made and it always stagnated or worsened when I lived without making conscious choices.  Although I have received backlash for not being on Facebook, I realized that not being on Facebook was one of the best choices I have ever made.  I am not telling you that you can not be on Facebook.  To the contrary, that choice is up to you.  Instead, my aim is to provide the reader a contrary view about Facebook.   A view that the media is not as interested in sharing.  A view that Facebook does not want you to know.  A view that Facebook is not required nor is it even close to optimal for a healthy lifestyle.

10 comments:

  1. Totally true its a shame some girls tells me I have something to hide/ no friends without facebook... I will resist.

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    1. Many people seem to think that a person has something to hide by not being on Facebook. The truth is, many people are not hiding anything - instead they are living a life where they don't feel the need to tell every small thing they did to everyone else.

      As far as friends go, I would rather have friends who liked me without Facebook than those who would only want to converse with me through Facebook.

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  2. I discovered your site today and have been reading your articles. To me it is excellent in every way. I found that on Facebook it is very hard to just BE. I tried to make the experience meaningful by contributing thoughtful comments to others however the time invested in doing so certainly was not worth it for various reasons. Once a comment was made it floated down the never ending bottomless pit of the news feed. I managed to escape from Facebook earlier this year and I still haven't recovered from the experience. I think about it every day and I am sure if I had continued, I would be even more unwell than I am now. I was on there from June 2010 and finally deleted my account in June 2013, after deactivating it in January 2013. I am now walking every day and endeavouring to heal myself through proper rest and exercise sorely neglected through Facebook usage, which in some ways I acknowledge was my own fault. I discovered that I am a very private person and Facebook was really not suited to me. I wanted meaningful dialogues however the Facebook experience keeps people at arms length and shallow and you wonder about the mind games some people play and whether you are perceiving these things correctly. I like and value the immediacy of a conversation now. I am relieved that I no longer think about my everyday life in terms of what could make a good status update. Even when I travel I am not going back to Facebook. I wish everyone all the best on there but I am glad I'm gone. I do miss it now and then but when I remember the pain I was in due to my energy being depleted in the process I know that I will never go back. This site is a very good place for me to get completely healed and free from Facebook. Thank-you.

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    1. I am very glad that this site has helped you with healing from Facebook. It may take some time to fully recover from the time you spent on the site but in the end you will be better for it.

      It's nice to live through life without feeling that you have to share everything through a status update. There's something satisfying about making some achievements in life private victories.

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  3. Hi! I discovered your blog when I deactivated our account (my husband and I had a joint facebook after we got married as a means of keeping each other accountable). I used the facebook account more than he did. I deactivated FB back in August 2013. I haven't completely deleted it yet. I have since logged back on twice for short periods of time. Once just to get contact info from friends out of state (my phone crashed and I lost their numbers). And the second time was because I caved lol. But didn't stay on for long. I refer back to your blog often when the urge comes to get back on FB. After talking with my husband about struggles regarding jealousy and friendship issues that had developed as a result of FB he and I both decided that it would be best for me to be off of it completely. He hates facebook lol. He has been a good accountability partner in that temptation to log back on. However, I can say that my life has been richer since being away from Facebook. Facebook used to be a daily, hourly thing for me for so long. It makes sense as to why it would be a temptation to give in to the addiction. I feel like my friendships with my TRUE friends in my town are better. There are more things to converse about since I haven't seen their whole lives played out on FB. My pet peeve though is when someone says, "Oh, I want to show you this video/picture..since you're not on FB". lol they mean well, but I just laugh and tell my husband, "why couldn't they just say, 'Let me show you this video/pic"? Thank you for this blog. When I am tempted to go back on, I refer to your website. Also, we are expecting our first son. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and it has been really nice to spread the news "the old fashioned way"...through call or text lol! We both knew we did not want to broadcast the life of our son on the internet. I was convicted with the thought of, "He is an individual human being, it's not right for me to put him on the internet without his consent". I don't want pictures that I post of him (cute...or maybe embarrassing to him someday) to come back and haunt him. Thank you for the constant encouragement to go and LIVE LIFE away from social media!

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    1. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have been told that pictures of our child will be shared on Facebook and there is, in essence, nothing we can do about it. While that is true, it is upsetting nonetheless. There's too many people that don't think about sharing the lives of other people without asking them. It is a violation of privacy.

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  4. Can you please write a post on HOW to navigate this facebook era without it? For example, with employers, friends family etc? I know your posts are amazing and touch on the why...but how about posting a how? and how to determine who is still your friend after you deactivate and the resulting possible lonliness etc? I love your blog by the way

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    1. I will make a post about this topic. Right now let me just say that I just jumped right in and didn't worry too much about it. In the day to day I never felt I was missing out by not being on Facebook. As time passed, I realized that few people really care (no employer has ever asked me if I have a Facebook account). Those who do care are generally family members and they are generally insecure about me not being on Facebook.

      As far as friends go, tell them you are leaving and let them know you would like to stay in touch. If they are wondering why you are leaving, point them to this blog.

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  5. this blog is wonderful and I refer back to it regularly. I read recently somewhere that "the social networking lifestyle is harmful for the environment". I am not totally sure what that means...but if you agree or can elaborate I'd love to see a post on that!

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    1. This is a great idea for an article, and I will write about it in my next post. I have a few ideas offhand, but I will do some more research and see what I can come up with! Thank you.

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